I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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