I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
