Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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