We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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