it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
