Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize