At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
