ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
