every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
