do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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