Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize