im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
