At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
