the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
