So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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