she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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