I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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