so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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