do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
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i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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