Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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