Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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