The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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