and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
