My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
