It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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