i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
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whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
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So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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