Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.