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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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  19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk

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• (949): View more from California

  Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I want to have sex with him.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20

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  21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.

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• (323): View more from California

  I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked

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• (707): View more from California

  If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE

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