i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
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I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.