If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours