don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.