no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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