I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
