so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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