Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
