The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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