Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
