so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
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i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
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Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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