Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
