i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
