so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
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He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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