His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
