i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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