Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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