upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
