hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
