We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
