like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
