Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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