so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
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If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
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It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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