Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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