We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
