Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
