dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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