I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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