I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
