is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
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