Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
