After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
