Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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