hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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