He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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